Want to Prosper? Nix the Scorekeeping
If you’re married and working toward common goals, sometimes living the principles of prosperity can be especially challenging because deep down you have certain expectations of what your spouse is supposed to be doing. Heck, it’s hard enough when you have certain expectations of what YOU are supposed to be doing!
This week I came to terms with the fact that I’m in another one of those “temporary seasons of imbalance” and decided to just hunker down and get through it. My husband agreed, and has been there to support me, filling in gaps wherever he can, rather than get frustrated that there are gaps to be filled. What an example that is to me.
I thought about this, and remembered all the times when I've been up and he's been down, or I've been down and he's been up. That's life. In your marriage, even if you’re both working hard to learn and understand the laws of success, you’ll learn them and apply them at different paces and in different ways.
When you’re in the groove, your spouse may struggle. When you’re spouse is on a roll, you may struggle. How, then, can you succeed financially as a couple if you can’t seem to get it right at the same time?
Count your blessings if the above description describes your relationship. The Law of Rhythm states that everything in life is cyclical. We will have up days and we’ll have down days. When you’re on an up, go ahead and get a whole bunch of stuff done! Take advantage.
When you’re down, go with it and let it serve its purpose (as described in Hidden Treasures), with an expectation that your turn for an up day is on its way.
So, now, about your relationship. Don’t allow yourself to feel frustrated when the two of you can’t seem to make quantum leaps forward together. It is GOOD that you’re on different tracks because if you both were to crash at the same time, who’d be there to pick up the pieces? Allow yourself to feel the joy that is available when you say, “it’s okay, you can have a down day, and I’ll carry the torch until you’re back.”
Imagine how that would make your partner feel. You have just turned a frustration into a benefit, which is a key skill for building prosperity. The goals you strive for will continue to move toward you as you show compassion and refuse to keep score.
Take responsibility. The minute you begin to fume and fuss over what someone else is doing or not doing, you lose power. Instead of passing judgement, be grateful for his/her companionship and the opportunity you have to grow through the experience. Move forward with faith, and when the obstacle that shows up happens to be conflict with a spouse, count it as a blessing and put forth a little extra effort to serve him/her.
Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. You don’t divi up the responsibilities and then constantly critique your partner’s performance on his/her share. You do what you can do, even if it means sharing the other person's load. How you feel about doing that will determine your ultimate success. If you begrudge sharing the load, you are robbing yourself of the joy AND the prosperity that is available to you. Remember, through natural law, the universe responds to the feelings you emit. Be grateful that you are able to help. No, marriage isn’t 50/50… it’s 100/100.
Don’t keep score. Inevitably there will come a day when you are the one needing to be carried. Serve with joy, and you’ll both reap great benefits soon enough. Nag not. Be patient. Allow those you love to grow at their own pace.
And if your spouse isn’t on board at all, you can still prosper; you can still succeed. Have faith in God’s ability to help you achieve your dreams, even if you’re the only one who believes in them.
This week I came to terms with the fact that I’m in another one of those “temporary seasons of imbalance” and decided to just hunker down and get through it. My husband agreed, and has been there to support me, filling in gaps wherever he can, rather than get frustrated that there are gaps to be filled. What an example that is to me.
I thought about this, and remembered all the times when I've been up and he's been down, or I've been down and he's been up. That's life. In your marriage, even if you’re both working hard to learn and understand the laws of success, you’ll learn them and apply them at different paces and in different ways.
When you’re in the groove, your spouse may struggle. When you’re spouse is on a roll, you may struggle. How, then, can you succeed financially as a couple if you can’t seem to get it right at the same time?
Count your blessings if the above description describes your relationship. The Law of Rhythm states that everything in life is cyclical. We will have up days and we’ll have down days. When you’re on an up, go ahead and get a whole bunch of stuff done! Take advantage.
When you’re down, go with it and let it serve its purpose (as described in Hidden Treasures), with an expectation that your turn for an up day is on its way.
So, now, about your relationship. Don’t allow yourself to feel frustrated when the two of you can’t seem to make quantum leaps forward together. It is GOOD that you’re on different tracks because if you both were to crash at the same time, who’d be there to pick up the pieces? Allow yourself to feel the joy that is available when you say, “it’s okay, you can have a down day, and I’ll carry the torch until you’re back.”
Imagine how that would make your partner feel. You have just turned a frustration into a benefit, which is a key skill for building prosperity. The goals you strive for will continue to move toward you as you show compassion and refuse to keep score.
Take responsibility. The minute you begin to fume and fuss over what someone else is doing or not doing, you lose power. Instead of passing judgement, be grateful for his/her companionship and the opportunity you have to grow through the experience. Move forward with faith, and when the obstacle that shows up happens to be conflict with a spouse, count it as a blessing and put forth a little extra effort to serve him/her.
Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. You don’t divi up the responsibilities and then constantly critique your partner’s performance on his/her share. You do what you can do, even if it means sharing the other person's load. How you feel about doing that will determine your ultimate success. If you begrudge sharing the load, you are robbing yourself of the joy AND the prosperity that is available to you. Remember, through natural law, the universe responds to the feelings you emit. Be grateful that you are able to help. No, marriage isn’t 50/50… it’s 100/100.
Don’t keep score. Inevitably there will come a day when you are the one needing to be carried. Serve with joy, and you’ll both reap great benefits soon enough. Nag not. Be patient. Allow those you love to grow at their own pace.
And if your spouse isn’t on board at all, you can still prosper; you can still succeed. Have faith in God’s ability to help you achieve your dreams, even if you’re the only one who believes in them.
posted by Leslie at 10:35 AM
ThoughtsAlive LLC
4 Comments:
"No, marriage isn’t 50/50… it’s 100/100." - Maybe that is love expressed in digits! :) Yes, we all need to give 200% of our efforts to keep love stay with us.
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Thanks for reminding us that marriage is not 50/50. We all need to be a little more understanding with our spouses. Thanks again Leslie.
I always appreciate your blogs and stories. Years ago my cousin taught me the 100/100 principle even though I haven't been the best at keeping my 100. ;o) Another thing that has helped me so much in my marriage is to focus on all the good, as you mentioned. One day the tv was on (which was a rarity in my house) and some talk show was on and a lady was describing how she just wanted her husband to be home and to love them and to not be at the bar. She went on and on and I realized that I had what she wanted and so did so many women around me, yet we seemed to complain about some of the "things" they did. I stopped immediately and began thinking of all the good he did and that I didn't want to lose him because there were obviously many women out there who would LOVE a husband like mine, so I had better LOVE him that much too!! (This was a few years before I even learned the laws.) So thanks for reminding me again what a great blessing I have in my home!
Thank you Leslie, I pray now that my heart and mind can truly absorb what you've written and apply it to my already wonderful marriage to my wife and eternal companion. Thank you again!
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